Tribute continued........the teachers(the best 3)

Pritpal ma'am ::

First experience was of Pritpal Kaur ma'am.I dont have words to describe her.The great scientists often doubt there own inventions as they always strive for improvement but she was full of blind confidence...I still recall her way of teaching."Gagan define relativity ?" says Pritpal."Ma'am relativity is something which relates" answers gagan hesitatingly."Khade raho Gagan" replies Pritpal and asks the same question from Chanpreet."Ma'am relativity is not just something which relates but something which correlates and interrelates" answers Chanpreet(in a highly confident way)."Ye kkkrect hai.Good Chanpreet.Baith jao.Apna roll no batao.Gagan repeat karo" replies Pritpal..As the days passed I got to know more about her anger,smile and also that even she had an orkut profile.

Dr Ajay Kumar::

Yes the well respected PhD Dr Ajay Kumar taught us chemistry.Wearing a girl scarf,dyeing his hair twice a year,he was a real style icon and a popular teacher amongst both guys and girls...(right)...He had a unique flambuoyance and mastery over voice modulation that forced even the best students to listen to rock music on earphone with rapt attention.Everytime he looked at me my head nodded with due respect and will to understand his preaching.In reality it was just the songs...yeah songs....His favourite students were Nayna,Manisha and Shubhika.(I wonder if he was their favourite teacher)..Their name was always on his mouth and we illiterates recieved treatment as if we hadnt paid to the college.Also quiet unique was his way of throwing the students out of the class.He would first call the student to his place and when the student reached his place he would say get out.His cruel punishment was to make the student walk twice through the classroom(once coming to him and other going out)

IST and ES teacher::

I dont know his name but he was quiet a character.He taught us discipline and not a single student dared to shout or speak in his class.Yeah you are right there was seldom a student in his class.He taught us few traffic rules like no tripling on the desk.On every sacred occasion like holi,diwali,eid and Guru Nanak Jayanti we attended his class.In fully occupied classroom we were given liberty to do anything.Some guys listening to music,some making funny pictures,some guy and gal dating each other etc.We even bursted crackers in the classroom and all he did was smiled at our deeds.But one thing that he hated most was..........UNO cards.Yeah everything was fine but not UNO cards.I witnessed his anger for the first time for the UNO cards and that nearly caused him his life.Thank god he is alive and well.Hope he will continue to entertain us in the next sem..

IIT vs Astrology

The most irritating field of study in the world is "astrology".Hairy freaks with long beard hold your future and all you can do is do as they tell you to.Let me tell you a story about a guy called Raghu.His parents believed more in astrology than on him.They often went to Babas(astrologers) asking them about their child's future.

As Raghu grew old and came in class 12th his parents anxiety reached cloud nine.They went to many babas and spent a lot of money as they wanted their son to be nothing less than an IITian."Baba ji,humara beta IIT clear toh kar lega naa?" asked Govind (Raghu's dad)."Mushkil hai.Abhi uske shani ki antardasha chal rahi hai.Rahu aathve ghar me baitha hai(wahan baith kar IPL dekh rha hai).Mangal bhi bhaari hai.Shukra,Budh aur Ketu ek seedh me aa gaye(koi side dene ko tayyar nahi) hai jo khatre ka sanket hai.Ladke ka padhai me mann nahi lag raha hai aur IITJEE asambhav dikhai padh rahi hai" replies baba confidently."Nahiiiiiiiiiiii" screams Radha(Raghu's mom)."Baba koi upaay batayen." stammered Govind (His voice was shaking and he was more nervous than Tendulkar and entire India when he is in his nineties)."Ek upaay hai.Agar aapka beta roz subah papite(Papaya) ke halve ko kaale kutte(doggy) ko daan kare,ek taang par khade ho kar Mahamrityunjay mantra ka jaap kare(500 baar roz) aur har amavasya(no moon) aur padve(first day after no moon or full moon) ko vrat kare aur ek bhi daana ann aur paani ka naa len to IIT sambhav hai.Dhyaan rahe ye saari kriyayen use khud hi karni padhegi"."Dhanya HOOOOOO maharaj.Hum uss se aisa hi karvayenge" replied Govind with great sigh of relief.

Now Raghu who was brilliant student and had scored 93% in class 11th had to do all the rituals prescribed by the Baba.Time passed by and now only 1 week was remaining for JEE.Raghu's parents had been shifted to Rehab and he was left alone with his books and prescriptions.

2 days before JEE his father called and reminded him of vrat of Amavasya and padva which had come together.Now Raghu can't eat and drink 1 day before and on the day of JEE.After a good night sleep Raghu went to perform his daily rituals.He made Papite ka halwa and searched for the black dog.The dog wasn't aggressive but the taste of papite ka halva had adverse effect on him.Poor Raghu, got bitten on his buttocks and also recieved injection on the same area.Now he couldn't sit on the chair.With grit determination Raghu stood up on 1 leg and started murmuring the mantra.He managed it with success but now he couldn't straighten his one leg.

Now with great preparation but paining buttocks and empty stomach Raghu gave his exam standing on one leg.The exam wasnt all that bad and he managed to clear the exam with Air-800.

His parents were overjoyed and got discharged from rehab.Their faith in baba grew manifolds and now they were relied on baba for their every action.

Raghu,now a well renowned astronomer tried to study the effect on saturn's path when a black dog is fed with papite ka halva.He also studied the effect of chants and fasts on Mars.He couldn't observe any change and blamed it on the Telescope.

There are lots of conclusions to be drawn here.......I leave them all to you....Just think over it....How many of us read the daily horoscope and try to justify it ....

A tribute to GTBIT::the beginning....

There's a long story about my admission in this college.It was divine intervention ,more than just the humanly effort.Now let me describe my early observational experience of GTBIT.

first day::

Someone told me that GTBIT is in Rajouri Garden and so did GGSIPU's prospectus.I landed at Rajouri Garden metro station at 8:45 a.m precise and thought cycle rickshaw would take me to my destination on time(i.e 9a.m)."Bhaiyya GTBIT chaloge?",I asked.The facial expression of the rickshawwalas were as if I had asked them about the "resolving power of grating experiment(physics practicals 2nd sem)".Well after 10 minutes of identity crisis finally I managed to find a sardar ji.I asked the same question to him.He said "Haan Chal lenge".My reaction towards all other rickshawwalas was like "Dekha even a Sardar knows it.Shame on you guys(No offence paajis)".Then his next question left me in bewilderment.He asked "Ye kahan padega waise?Raasta pata hai na aapko? "."Waahe guru mainnu bacha lo",I prayed.And the very next moment another sardar ji(this time on auto rickshaw) came in front of me.My eyes lit up with hope.Finally after 15 minutes of crisis I managed to find someone who gave me my identity."Ye kahan aa gaye hum......." was the song being played in the auto which seemed like background music of my life.I reached GTBIT and began glorifying its beauty...."Is building ke peechhe bhi kuch hoga","Ye side me bhi kuch ban raha hai","Sahi hai no playground,college lays more emphasis on studies","Chalo AmityDwarka se to better hi hai"(I often laugh at the ways in which mind tries to console itself.For example: A man is being imprisoned for 50 years for the crime he didnt commit and he consoles himself "Thank god I didnt get life imprisonment").I filled some forms,deposited certificates and that concluded the first day.

second day::

I was feeling better because I came from from Subhash Nagar Metro Station this time.This time I was given my due attention and expressions that lifted my spirits("GTBIT me CS milnaa aasan nahi hota",my conscience said and felt sarcastically happy about it).I reached my classroom.Sardars here,there and everywhere.From one identity crisis I landed into another and this time with some fear too."Yaar Param in sardaron se bach ke rahio"my conscience said.But thankfully I was proved wrong as I discovered the humanly side of sardars(No offence again..I love u paajis. bas mazaak kar reya si) as I was not ragged.(Perhaps the paajis were scared of the "kickstarter".Its like a man and stray dog's relationship.Both are scared of each other and just pass deadly looks to each other saying "Beware" although deepdown they both mean"Mujhe mat kaatna")

......to be continued.......

[[[My next parts will have my experiences about my teachers,girls and few good friends(The best part about my college)..........]]]]

Kameenication::My way of communication

What is communication?

A process of sharing information.But I am pretty possesive and I dont want to share.Hence I dont share....But if I come across some beggar or needy I do hand him over few words like @$%!*$%*@*#("censored")...That surely defines my kindness ...

My first kickk

Why dont you speak much?

............

OK,sorry tell us some incident you spoke last time?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........................

How many times have you spoken in your life?

3 times

And what did you speak during those moments?

1.Mumma

2.Daddy

3.Czechoslovakia

Czechoslovakia doesnt exist now,why did you speak Czechoslovakia?

Czechoslovakia is by brother's pet name...

What's yours?

Galapagos

It is an island right,Why Galapagos?

My dad had a 300 acre plot there....

So?

He wanted me to reclaim it.

But its a UNESCO's Heritage site.How did he manage to buy it?

**/-%$^#....He didnt buy it..But he reached first at the island...So its his..He claims...

How is it possible.I guess it was discovered in 1684 by Ambrose Cowley?

Even I thought it once.But noonne can argue my dad.

But how does he claim that island to be his?

Ohh..When my dad came across Google earth he tagged "my home" at Galapagos.

But why Galapagos?

He was getting bigger plots in Antarctica and Greenland but thought Al Gore and Pachauri will be the bone of contention and our refrigerator is not CFC free.In addition my dad is also fond of ice creams but he is suffering from Diabetes Mellitus.

OK,so how are you planning to reclaim it?

I will go there every year and carry some sand and stones.

So,you are saying you are going to smuggle an island?

I will go there as a geologist and collect samples.

Lets get back to the main point.Why dont you speak much?

(blushing and staring at the woodland shoes).......I love you woodland....KICKKKKKKK

(interviewer's ass turned red uniformly such is the precision of woodland's el diablo)

[I tried hard to convince the interviewer to stop his nuisance....But its said some people never learn.They dont run with self but need a kickstart.]

Intro:::::

An encounter specialist who will not entertain any cheapness and misuse of words.He has eagle eyes and has been given kick at sight orders.All those people who talk nuisance.....Beware here comes.....Kickkstarter