Facebook Flirt...

 

 

I was waiting for you to come online...
You acted busy and made me offline
I quitted Facebook and now you say
You made new friends(gfs) naa thats why you no longer play

I started coming online and saying hi
You got just too overwhelmed to give a polite reply
I stopped making the initiation
And you started using "Param Saraf" hi as the salutation..( :P )

I flirt and make you giggle
You keep singing "gtg bye" as your favourite jingle
I come to ground zero and accept not to expect
Then you indicate that for me you have a lot of respect

I retrospect and foresee a good prospect
Later you justify your words as being said not in that aspect

I act to understand and you pretend
That you look me as just and just as a friend
I realise this is no longer the beginning, this is the end
I quit Facebook once again
And start laughing once again once again ( :P)

Later your sms comes "I think I have a soft corner for you"
Heartbeats with new hope and wild thoughts a few
untill the next sms comes,reading..
"Just kidding,Just kidding :P :P"

This was a Facebook Flirt's story of love
A love that in one chat germinates as seed
Grows along in another with rude comments as weed
Harvested finally but never distributed
To the one, in its most dire need...

(Dedicated to all those who can identify themselves here :P :P :P)

Why do the Kings dont have a GF???

This post is fictitous and bears no resemblance to any living, non living and virtually non existent species.

Why do the Kings dont have a GF?? is the most fascinating question and may be a moral boost for a single to feel that he's a King....The following reasons:

1. The King characterises of ego,pride,power even though he doesnt own a big territory. :P
2. The King would never drive a bike or a car to take the girl on a ride,infact he thinks driving is the job of drivers and he cant snatch their livelihood(This is to highlight the fact that Kings have a big heart)...And even if he sits with a girl on a bike,he will order her to drive.... :P
3. The King doesnt know how to please a girl and would never be shy to say what he wants to.
4. The following most common phrases that cant be associated with a king:

• Can I drop you home?...
• Hey leave that to me,I ll do it...
• We're just friends(yeah f***king friends)...

       The following questions that most girls throw on him....to which he replies:

• Q.I feel very lonely and I dont have much friends..will you be friends with me?....A.Nopes....
• Q.Hey...You have changed...you look so different...has your mobile number changed? A.Yeah I have changed but you look the same fat,bloodsucking,ugly bitch and you never had my number :P
• Q.Hey do you have an extra pen? A.Yes,I do but it doesnt write :P
• Q.Mujhe neend aa rahi hai(this is a special one,made by a classmate in class)? A.But I am too tired :P
• Q.Do you have a GF?Or are you interested in any? A. You dont have any chance even if I couldnt see and hear and had my whole body paralysed except for one part... :P

And the last one............

Q.Who do you think you are,a King or what? A.Yes,I am a King i.e a Kind  Intelligent and Nice Guy  :P

 

"Tribute to Dr SNR Reddy in the Reddyland"

"No thats not Dr Reddy but thats a chimp with his symbol of humanity i.e CLAPS"

Dr Reddy was a teacher,mentor,comedian and shakira (for his shaking nature) during our summer training programme.He is extremely down to earth and is as humble as a lamb who is to be slaughtered.Being a lecturer in IGIT, isnt an easy job.

During his initial days he was "SNR Reddy,mind it" but then his masculinity decreased with time and he adapted to IGIT and changed to "SNR Reddy,Dont mind wokay".

Not to undermine his skills,he had a great knowledge about "moving horizontal but was too scared to go vertical as he had Acrophobia(fear of heights)"...What it means is that he teaches us 'A' of 'ABC...Z' and expects us to discover the entire 'ABC...Z'...

As I can recall the enlightening words by "Maindhak-the frog"(The guy who used to give us our mobile devices daily) "Chhota Reddy,Bada Reddy jeejaaa saaala hain...aur ye training inke Khaane kamaane ka dhanda hai..." During our initial days these words were considered meaningless but later it became a harsh reality....

'Chhota Reddy' young,not so handsome,not so charming,not so vivacious,not so helpful but still a 'Reddy' by nature...He was a ladykiller and a very popular laughing stalk among ladies....He used to sit near the laptop and play games and didnt believe in doing his job that was to change the slides of ppt....Eventually it was the saala i.e 'Badaa Reddy' who did the honours....

                    When asked "Sir(I know thats offensive) what are you doing?" he said "I am doing Research".We again asked "Research as in phD?" to which he replied "No...Research"....God bless him :)

So back to Dr SNR Reddy-the leader of the Reddy clan...He had great oratorial skills repeating his every word twice,thrice,four times till the listener forgets what was the topic he was explaining....His most inspiring and touching words are listed below in order :

1."Claps....." (He had a will for appreciating talent and work...every senior lecturer's work or even students was acknowledged/appreciated with Claps.....He used to raise his shoulders in repect)

2."Thanks to Dr Nupur Prakash for your enlightening words" (This was a symbol of his faithfullness to Dr Nupur and his responsibility to his family which depends on him :) )

3."appu"(Being a southie he showed his love for elephants by reading appuifw as "appu" ifw....It was a symbol of his universally loving nature)

4."Lets Break it"(After a tiring lecture he used to speak these words to inspire students to break the cage of darkness by the light of knowledge)

5."Real time mobile devices"(No words can describe this....I guess noq every student refers to his/her mobile as real time mobile device...such was his aura,flair and flambuoyance)

6."Tinni"(He pronounced "tiny" a four letter word as "tinni" giving it more length and hence inspiring even the words)

7.Chaapters(He emphasized more on "aaaa" of  "chapters" and pronounced it as "chaaapters"....The very reason was he wanted us to emphasize on "aaa" or basics of any chapter or experiment so that we can build a strong project)

To be continued----------> :)

"The Real Man"

Drenched in cold sweat,with a cigarette in mouth,he takes a 'headshot',enjoys his achievement for a second raising his lips by 45 degrees and then takes another...."Jim" his best friend acknowledges his achievement and gets shot in the the middle of the 'eye'....He throws away his sniper rifle lifts the machine gun and starts firing.....Kills everyone in the vicinity whether or not guilty of his friend's demise...He sheds a drop of tear for his friend's death and another for his "rampant killing"....

After the day's work he retires to his room....listening to "heavy metal"...remembering the days when he was with his family....Suddenly,the Seargeant orders him to take guard against the 'vietnamese' (small in built,great stamina and relentless as 'Piranhas')...He gets dressed, kisses the photo of his girlfriend in his 'purse',loads ammo,shoots the first bullet in air as a good luck charm and gets 'ready'....

2 a.m and his stomach is aching,signalling 'hunger and thirst' all together to his brain which is engulfed in 'war'...Just like the vehicle, the body has its own limitations too..you cant accelerate when the engine gets overheated....So he takes out the "Toblerone' from his pocket and eats it with one hand and keeps shooting with another...

2 days and still fighting to capture the hill 30,he gets bored  by his Seargeant's leadership and decides to go all out....He collects 4 of his believers and decides to climb the hill amidst the avalanche of firing...."Courage" is a state of mind when you have nothing to lose....Loaded with 'courage' he leads his troops to hill 30......Raises his 'brows' and the flag there....

Being awarded  for bravery he turns up with the same 'unanimated' face that was the only constant thing among his daily adventure with life and death.

...to be continued........

The Great Indian Marriage......

Marriages are made in heaven.....Hmm may be,but Indian Marriages are made with colours,rituals,emotions and a lot of excitement.This was the first time I got a chance to witness marriage so closely....so here it goes...

Description::::My sis(My Tauji's daughter) Subhadra and Ketan Pimparikar(Her MITian groom) got married on 18th March 2010...A date that they will never forget...Sudarshan(Subhadra's bro) and me had a key role to play...

On 14th march I reached Bhilai for Daal Baati(a delicacy served on event of Narsimha(our kuldevata)Dev ke jode jimaana)...We departed at night for Nagpur...The job beginsss...

Being 6 '2' weighing 75 kgs and aging just 20 years(the youngest in my family) it is presumed that I am a worker and my role is to lift baggages,load them,unload them,listen to what old men say,do as they please,dont argue with them,and keep nodding in acceptance.....At Nagpur I did the same along with Sud(Sudarshan) enjoying every bit of it.

15th and 16th were off days where all arrangements for the 17th and 18th were finalised....During this time I played cards with old men(Bluff,Rummy,Not at home and Satti centre) played with adoloscents(tried a lot of wrestling moves on them) and gossipped with long lost bhanjis and bhatijis who are of my age(strange!!!)

17th came and came the baraatis.....While few people went  to recieve them at railway station at 5 am some made arrangements for welcoming them....I was in the latter group...

Deprived of sleep and nature's call I stood at the gate welcoming them...Then came the groom with his parents followed by their relatives including a lot of aunties and few teens whose mouth opened on seeing us(the alpha males) but then dropped soon when we lifted their baggages and transported them to their rooms..

Being in the girl's side a lot of pain is inflicted on all irrespective of who you are and whatever you do...I mean a person who doesnt help anyone unless he feels that someone needs help had to act like an ass(donkey) doing what the master says and not complain...The prize that the ass got were a few smiles(amount varied from few rupees to a million dollars)......to be continued

B.Tech in Jugaad Engineering..........Part II....War with "The Pilot Pens":::

                      

                     War with "The Pilot Pens"

Depending on the level of preparation....which actually means completing the syllabus or coming close to it...Our man begins to feel it....If he has covered all the syllabus...He transforms..."He is the man"....It shows in his walks and talks...Fearless "the man" enters the arena(Examination centre) with an intensionally crafted 'butcher look' to scare a shit out of the 'bakras(Goats)'(The most fattu bunch of students who score more eventually....(Whats in a Mark?))....Its now or never....Paper comes.....Reading through all the questions...The invigilator asks him "Which paper?"....He turns back and asks his neighbouring student..."Which Paper?"..."ADA" comes the reply...Meanwhile the invigilator prepares her documents and "The Man" goes through the process signing at right places in " dont care fashion"....Mind it..

The papers is in front and he could feel it....."The Man" doesnt believe in the process of cheating as it is time consuming and his conscience doesnt allow the thought "Abey ise mujhse zyada kaise aa sakta hai?"...

He begins to write with his lucky pen "The pilot pen"...

The pilot glides through all 2 marks hills....dropping shells at the 'X'(The questions, answer to which he doesnt know) and expecting them to hit on target....After crossing the 1st compulsory question hurdle the pilot comes on a crossroad...Hill no 3 has easy initial path but there is a Bermuda Triangle in the middle...Not many have made through that area....Hill no 4 is all philosophical....demanding good writing skills and memory....In the midst of confusion and a lot of time consumption the pilot finds an easy way out....Hill no 7......Its a hit or a miss.....You get through it or get nailed....."The Man" stranded  in the middle with an angel and a devil giving advices......

Devil:::Go for question no 7...you will get full 12.5 marks..

Angel:::Dont listen to him go for question no 3...Do those parts only you know best...

Devil:::Nooooo way...We play for pride...Either we live or we deserve to die...

Angel:: Theres no pride in failing when you have a chance to overcome hardship..

Devil::seven...Its lucky for Dhoni and all great players...you are great tooo....Go for it my boy...Its your day

Angel::Seven may be lucky for them but you are wearing "Lux Cozi" remember.."Apna luck pehan ke chalo"...Go for 3...dont be greedy....

The pilot tries some manouevers on hill no 3 but then turns around and decides to try hill no 7.....

Its alll done.....The pilot reaches its destination(Pencil Box) and "The man" begins to lift his honoured ass slowly with all pride that he achieved in the arena....

"I am the Man"

Suddenly a noise from behind..."There was a trick in question no 7 we needed to divide f(s) by s"...

"How do you know?"asks "The Man"....."Well it was a star marked question in the book...the only exception in its category....given on page no 237...last example..."Devil defeated the angel again.....

"Just as everything seems bleak and hazy hero finds a way to defeat the bad guyz,gain the honour and get the girl" thinking this "The Man" who lost his "The Man attitude" for a moment returns to his original state and heads back home.....Filled with a new potion of self knowledge that noone would acknowledge he would relax for few days after exams.......Get over his examinary "Jetlag" and then continue the "Party........"

Category : Down the Memory Lane,Name :Param Saraf, GTBIT

'Down the Memory lane'---an unforgettable trip to Andamans

10.

'I am different'

'Everlasting shine'

9.                                  

'Waves'

8.

'Blue'

7.

'Sneek Peek'

6.

'Complete'

5.

'Trouble'

4.

'Together'

3.

'Quicksand'

2.

'The Walk'

1.

'Balance'

Der Fotograf........

I know what you are thinking!!!!

GATES..........2010......

Held in month of March.....Its a mega event in which every room of our college including the toilets are hosting an event.....(like robot wars(in which robots are dragged with hands(sheh remotes are just too old fashioned)...Arm wrestling...(thank god it uses arms only..)...and some other great events like Panga 7.0...(where 3 or 4 bloody seniors of your age try to act smart while the rest of your fellow competitor talk in spanish.....)....Not to forget my very own event TECHNOSCRAP.....(I was the proud volunteer of this event......Only 12 people from  all over India have got this privilege....I am just so lucky....While poster making,  the only creative idea that came to  my mind was to design a poster with a robot sitting on a Pot and poster reading Techno's crap...so original....but considering the aura,flamboyance(for further english words contact....The World is Square) of the event it was neglected ..

Not to forget the words of the wisdom announced in our class by one of the member of THE CORE TEAM(The Highest Honour to any individual  next only to being the CEO of  the 'Pink Chaddi Campaign')

......Pay attention....

Do you know whats the full form of GATES?

No...What kind of GTBITian are u?

It is blah blah blah of souls.....(Notice the words following....)....It is one of the largest event held in the vicinity of Delhi(Just like the UN,GTBIT is located in international territory and doesnt belong to Delhi)......over 90 events....You know how important the certis are for your placements.....(Hmm let me guess.......2 yrs from now Mr A goes for placement......

Interviewer::::::So Mr A show me your resume.....Mr A what is this?....You have got 7 consecutive backs with 60% CGP with all backs in all your core subjects......Do you expect us to give you a job....what were you thinking.....You dont have good marks......good college........good skillls.....what makes you think you will get the job?

Mr A::::::Sir I have a certificate of volunteering.......

Interviewer:::::Really......I am extremely sorry Mr A....(The interviewer falls in Mr A's legs and starts begging him to work for him)

)

If anyone can provide us with sponsorship we would give 10% to him....(Wow .....)The sponsors can vary from a 'Chuskiwaala' to 'Yamaha'(What a comparision......just think how good it will look.......

Chhajju Panwaari presents Nach Baliye,Co sponsors Yadav ji Mishthan,Sulabh National,Young India Commander etc........

I know I  am  a  GTBITian and I shouldnt call my mother dacoit.........But thats what I am.........Sorry.....Huh...

Rusted Rebel Off you gooo........(My first song)

First of all I would like to say that its not dedicated to anyone nor is it made for any purpose(I know u get me)...Its my first song's lyrics....here it goes....


I wanted it to snow
while the sun glows

I wanted it to rain
while you felt my pain

As a proof of my genuinity

As you go on with life
And I battle it out

As u live in profanity
And i battle for my identity
with my insanity

throw me from the cliff
Let me drown into horrors of the sea
where silence of the depth
is sufficient to take away your breath

As i walk through the silence of hell
for the reasons even i cant tell
I had trusted but I got betrayal
I got rusted and became rebel

Rusted rebel off you go

with the time you will grow
As your intentions were clear
you dont need to fear, she will know

I had stories to tell
and I thought you fell
(for me)

I had ideas to sell
and I thought you'll earn
(for me)

As you go on with life
And I battle it out
As you live in superiority
And I battle with inferiority
for purity

throw me from the cliff
Let me drown into horrors of the sea
where silence of the depth
is sufficient to take away your breath

As I walk through the silence of hell
for the reasons even I cant tell
I had trusted but I got betrayal
I got rusted and became rebel

Rusted rebel off you go
with the time you will grow
As your intentions were clear
you dont need to fear, she will know

I dont blame you
for all of this bullshit

I was lame coz
I got lost and misfit

but
didnt my eyes tell u the truth
didnt my lies tell u the truth
didnt my sssstammer tell u the truth
didnt my grammar tell u the truth

The truth is that
no matter how far you go
no matter how far you runaway
the memories stay

That was past that would last
like a bomb it will blast

Now I am looking at the rainbow
thinking about the sunshine
feeling the breeze
knowing you are not mine

Rusted rebel off you go
with the time you will grow
As your intentions were clear
you dont need to fear, she will know

FIFA 2002 installation song...........

I have searched for this song for 9 years under the google searches "I dont know what you are looking for and"FIFA 2002 soundtracks"....I even recorded it on web cam while I installed FIFA 2002 and  listened to it for some time till my pc was formatted and in the mean time my game CD was cracked...I lost contact with the song for quiet some time...And a few months back when I saw a song on My Evil Self's blog I didnt pay much attention to it...But today my brother told me that this is what you were searching for.....

I would like to thank you My Evil Self.......And all the fellow readers please listen.........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=styYbRWQYP8

The World is Round::::because the dogs too are fond of a joke...

When the cryptic nuances of bewildered soliliquoy knocks my head off my skin I begin to groove on the tracks of Lady Naga...I take refuge under the broad shoulders of the megalomaniacs and hypochondriacs busy in the upheaval of mankind through their power of living in virtual fantasies...Virtual fantasies rule over the real world and the joy that chaos brings suppresses the inidignation...Metamorphosis has lead to path breaking or should I say head breaking discoveries...Stubborn conscience's sheer delight is in being recognized as a different cyborg in the zombie clad society....

I hope you didnt understand what was written above.....That was meant to be....watch the video below you will understand what I wish to say........

No offence to anyone.... :))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnQRddkk2to

The 3 Musketeers on an ultimate safari (25 days of adventure)

9+4+5

The secret behind 9+4+5  is the number of underwears we 3 had brought....I was content with 4 and had to wash them every alternate day...While Chugh claimed to have brought a large number of them he was caught later with 5...That meant he believed in use,reuse and recycle as he was never seen washing them.....And finally the King Mel who had brought 9....Yes....9 for 9 days......So I dedicate this ad to him....("Gande underwears alag rakhna beta")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxgTadgqBqE

"A+B=C"

A statement written on blackboard...A+B=C....

Student 1:Oh its so easy....I know that A+B=C...no big deal.

Student 2:A is added to B to obtain C....alright(Huhh....Pythagorus ne kaha hoga chalo maan liya....mere baap ka kya jaa rha hai..)

Student 3:A,B,C....ya I can understand......but the rest I cant ("Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha....main fail ho jaunga...)

Student 4:Pappu  knows it....I will ask him...

Student 5:Who cares Neha sits in front of me....She will help me cheat and I will pass...What else do I need...

Student 6:Let me play FIFA 09(pc game) and worry how will I get a Hand of god in it....

Student 7:Let me sleep first then I will try to understand why is A+B=C...

Student 8:I am hungry and I cant study when I am hungry...

Student 9:I think our education system needs to be changed.I want to be an engineer and I dont understand how A+B=C help me with engineering...

Student 10:Never mind...If not this year...I will pass this subject next year with my parents support...

Student 11:I think Lolita would get impressed by me if I get first rank in class...(so A,B,C...zzzzzzzz....dreams..)

Student 13 to Student 14:Do you why is 'B' feeling cold?Because its between AC....

Student 14:!@@(*^@*^(@#(&a%_)(_&;%.,..,

Student 15:Theres a lot of time left....I managed to pass exams studying just 2 hrs before exams....If I begin to study now holy christ I will top...phewww....

Student 16:A+B=C.....na na na na....meri laundry ka ek bill ek aadhi padhi novel....har time yahi gaana bajta hai dimaag men jab A+B=C padhne baithta hun....is se achha to AIR FM gold hai......

Student 1:I have to know this for my parents...I owe to them....I also have to beat Chintu in exams..pata nahi kya samajhta hai khud ko...

and finally..........

Student 18What is A and B...Why are they added....Why are they equal to C...Why is ma'am writing this...Why are we learning...What if I dont know A+B=C...will not my child be born naked and bald...

मम प्रिय भाई

ये कविता सच्चे किस्सों पर आधारित है और मेरे भाई श्री नमन को समर्पित है




भाई ओ भाई ओ मम प्रिय भाई ,
तुझसे मैंने विद्या कमाई ,
तुने ही मुझे zig zag underline करना सिखाया ,
जिसकी वजह से हिंदी की teacher से था मैंने लाफा खाया ,
तुने ही मुझे cricket सिखाया ,
खुद ball बना और मुझे bat पकडाया ,
तुने ही सिखाये वो पीठ के मुक्के ,
वो लातें सुहानी वो  लाफे अनोखे ,
तुने ही मुझे सिखाया blackmails से डरना ,
वो घर से निकलना और कुछ दूर चलना ,(cryptic matter)
तुने मुझे अप्भ्रम्षा सिखाये ,
वो Odi Aadi Odi Aadi wo sigdikk साए साए ,
तुने मुझे कंजूसी सिखाई ,
पर जासूसी मुझे अपने आप थी आई ,
दुआ है मेरी खूब आगे जाये तू ,
मुझे फोकट में लिफ्ट दे और
मुफ्त में घुमाए तू ...
आपका प्रिय भाई परम(नाम तो सुना ही होगा )

The Great Escape................an N81 story

11th November 2009::::::::::::::::

So the unforgettable day's journey started at 8.15 a.m as I boarded the metro feeder bus.Like a diamond lattice with tetrahedral geometry I was packed and couldnt loose my electrons(Huh....)I was happy nonetheless as Loud music was screeching in my ears...As the bus came to a halt at one of the stop there was some activity in the lattice as one electron moved away and the others rearranged themselves.....Just as the bus started again the music in my ears suddenly stopped....I thought that the lead of my earphones would have been unplugged but to my horror my mobile was not in my pocket.....My immediate reaction was::::"Mera mobile chori hua hai....Jisne bhi liya hai lauta de....warna(with a big grin) bahut maarungaaah(Grunt like Arch Enemy's vocalist)"...I began searching other passenger's pockets without their consent(I didnt need to as my facial expression would have scared a shit outta them)So as I began to hastily search their pockets someone suggested to ring on my mobile....But I told them it was on silent profile so no use....Just at that instant the conductor asked for ticket.....I said "Yeah man....Tu bhi lele bhai...".....The 10 minutes from School Block to Yamuna Bank my mind was reconciliating:::::

("So what if you lost the phone....every 131st mobile phone owner suffers the same agony.....Dad would say "Never mind" and mom would simply blow away my mind....I would miss my 334 song collection.....Hmm what could I have done.....What would be my next set....Nokia 1200...I would miss the slider....Let me protect my adidas bag now......)

Then came a suggestion to check every passenger's pockets at Yamuna Bank......I informed the conductor of my intent and he agreed.....As Yamuna Bank was approaching so was my hope beginning to end...("This is it...my hope is going to end here when I will be told...sorry not found...I would hide my disgust and board the metro")

At Yamuna Bank,just as I searched 2-3 passengers someone came from behind and told me "Here it is..It was lying on the floor of the bus"...(This statement brought some reaction from the mob...."Kya yaar"(means what the hell) as some people actually believed that it was possible for my mobile to fall down from extremely tight and huge pocket....or maybe they were lamenting at my fortune)        Just the very sight of my mobile filled me with amazement and I didnt bother thinking of what happened,how did it happen...I just moved the slider 2-3 times(which I missed the most).

Battle of Water(in)Loo!!!!

The hand in figure is thoroughly washed and is not mine

What  would you do?

If you are in the loo(I love my Indian) and  the tap  gets jammed after being opened....You are amazed to see that the water pressure is still extremely low...Then you  use your intellect  that probably  there's no water to meet your demands....As you try to battle it out (i.e wash away your sins with a little drop of elixir(holy water) )  , the doorbell rings....You suspect your parents to be at the door but a distinctive loud baritone disapproves your notion...As u somehow begin to rise,your mobile phone rings....

Thats a calamity with the result of momentary elevated B.P,adrenaline upsurge and corticosteroids accumulation.....The man's survival is not just a miracle but an inspiration to all the people to develop a will power as strong as his..

Thank god he opened the door with pants on......

"a Win is A Win"

19 sept,2.00 p.m::: My friend Pulkit (yeah the one who gives friend requests to unknown people) and I decided to gratify our thirst and get rid of the drought that persisted for 1 week.(No we're not addicted).We headed on to the pool....(no not for swimming with mermaids but 9 ball pool).9 ball pool is quiet a fascinating game when your cheap shots start going in and quiet a disgusting venture when the most intensely concentrated shot to pot a ball needing just a gentle kiss(the one given generally on head and face and which is not wet) dont go in....So we arrived at the battleground and got ready for 1 hour of onslaught comprising of 4-5 games(we guessed)....The owner of the pooling area gave higher priority to our match than watching "Saas Bahu and Saazish" on AAJ Tak. The rest of the post will be commentary made by him(offcourse its fictitious.....but its a tribute to great commentators like Tony Greig,Geoff Boycott and Sidhu)...So here it goes.....

So this is the moment we all were waiting for...The final match of 4 match tournament....Gupta leads Saraf 2-1...it is going to be one heck of a match....Here it begins....Saraf takes the break...Gupta is merciless and is on a potting spree and Saraf is just trying to keep up with his raging supporters by saying that "Winning and Losing doesnt matter"...The odds are favouring Gupta as his baniya killer insticts in on a roll....The final moments of the match...Gupta needs to pot just 1 black ball and Saraf needs to pot 4 balls+black ball...With the black ball positioned near the hole noone in the world can ask or think for a mighty turnaround...Gupta can pot the ball with eyes closed... Heres the shot....Its a miss...Oopsie Daisie thats rubbish...So the heavens have knocked Param's doors...He wastes no time and pots 2 balls...Now Gupta hits and misses...Param has a great opportunity to pot the red ball which is also positioned near the hole and then hope for a miracle to pot the yellow ball...Param hits and misses....Foul....Gupta hits and misses....Param hits and misses....I've never seen such a game of pool where the excitement is not about who wins but about the end of the game as I've to close the shop and go for lunch...Both the players pretty adamant to deprive me of food...

While I was thinking about food I saw this game continue for 10 mins during which Saraf had commited 5 fouls in a row and Gupta was just beating his head as the ball refused to be potted....Now its Saraf's turn can he improve his record by making the 6th foul in a row...He fails to foul and pots the red ball..Now he hits yellow ball but couldnt pot it.....Seeing Gupta hopeless Saraf has a new spark in his eyes...Now Gupta being pissed off with easy shots not going in decides for a difficult rebound...With eyes of a desperate housewife Gupta is sweating profusely...He scratches his groin area as a token of respect to Sachin Tendulkar and asking for good luck...Its so tense I tell you that all the spiders have held on to their webs...Can he win this time...Can he re establish his legacy..He gets ready for the shot..Stick moves forward,backward..shot..Takkk!!!..

(Time Warp)The queue ball hits the black ball...Its a misss...no no......its out of the table....actually its in.....oopsie daisey......All the drama...all the fun has finally come to an end.....wait a second....Why does Gupta look dejected and Param Saraf has removed his T-shirt and is waving it in the air......Ohhh......Gupta potted it in the wrong hole...Gupta is furious and is challenging the victory of Saraf but Saraf has turned deaf and is shouting "A WIN IS A WIN".............

NAMASTEY Aunty Effect !!!!!!!!!!

The most challenging words which are a real test of character and communication skills of a person are "namastey aunty".Two words which displays the character of the person.Throughout my 20 years "namastey aunty" kept on evolving as did my hairstyle.

In early days I used to say it with my hands gesturing namastey much like the politicians do when they make a vote appeal.My brother used to tease me for it.So I decided to change with the time.My brothers style was pretty different and seemed indifferent to me.When he sees an uncle or aunty his head would nod quickly just as it does when he sneezes accompanied by the words at a noise level of .001 db.So I eventually embibed his style and started sneezing out my namasteys.

When I see my target from long distance,then the sneeze has to be properly timed.The void between the sneeze and (deadman)walking can be filled by observing how clean your road is or seeing your hairstyle in car's windows or blowing kisses to the girls who are watching you from the windows(its optional) but not by making eye contact with the target.After the indifferent time-out I begin to prepare myself for the moment and wait for the eye contact...3,2,1..."Namastey aunty"(sneeze).Most of times I get positive feedbacks but sometimes I get most errant(not transgressively) responses in which their reaction suggests "Sewers are really foul smelling here".Thats part and parcel of life and you have to move on.

Difficulties arise when the freshers(uncle and aunty) arrive and I am not sure whether my namastey will succeed.Sometimes there are more than 1 target in close proximity.I have to very tactfully position my eyes in centre so that with 1 sneeze I can petrify(I have read 112 pages of Chamber of secrets till date....the only potter book )all of them.

Being a "patelian"(I know how hard its entrance was) I have experienced the most unusual styles of indifferent wishing.I had to wave hands after seeing a teacher or even Principal much the same way the shopkeeper communicates "nahi hai" after being asked "bhaiyya maa ki daal hai(no offence mummies)?" or like one of the dance steps of Helen in "Laila O Laila".I loved this waving as it suited my character.It was a multipurpose weapon as a lot was communicated with just a simple wavering.The main purpose of this wavering was to reduce that .oo1 db of noise pollution and our school was awarded with a badge of honour by "the green brigade"(the same brigade that occupied 3 center pages of my books in classes 5,6,7)...

Hope the environmentalists will consider this wishing style and put it in global perspective as"Namastey Aunty Effect".....

The 3 Musketeers on an ultimate safari (25 days of adventure) Chapter IV

"Ruby"

After all hullaballoo we began to take Nettech seriously.Our batch was divided into 12 groups and named after the planets and moons.....I was in Saturn(no doubt...Shani dev rules) and so were 4 other honourable men and 1 woman.I think in any group a girl provides stability(otherwise guys complain "Meri kismat kharaab hai").So with due modesty I asked her name after the 4 others had taken her phone no and email id...."Ruby they call me Ruby" said Ruby(ofcourse)...."What can I call you?" I thought "Panchaali"(Draupadi,1 for 5) replied my ever so hardworking mind.The group was made for LAB classes,tests and projects and in theory classes we were on our own...The Fantastic four were::

1."battakh or duck"(named by me by his looks and behaviour) who was a cause for jealousy for "The Fatman and D.D" as he was a typical hardworking guy....He was a worrier more than a warrior...
2."Fatman"(a new superhero):The most involved and had the Dzire(swift) to win more than all of us...
3."D.D":He was the "desi bhaiyya" who tried to impress with his casualness but ultimately became a casualty.
4."Irfan Pathan":He was the smartest among all of us.Short in height but taller than her.Chocolate boy who was a heartthrob..
Me:"Who is She?" (the popular words from a poem that I recited once in class 12th and recieved many accolades for it.)

Lab class 1:I was the first to come and took the second seat from the corner.Miss Ruby with all humility decided to sit next to me.Then entered the 4 honourable men.The Fatman without wasting a second landed his butts in between the two of us..I was pretty happy to get a side and enjoy the war that was meant to be lost at all cost.

So every day brought new hopes and aspirations in the minds of all of them..."Battakh" tried to impress with his problem solving ability,D.D with his news reading ability,"Fatman" with problem creating ability and "Irfan" with his inswinging yorkers which he lost in recent past that brought about his demise..So it was fun watching all of them on the path of self destruction...There was a new hero everyday.Usually "Battakh" hoisted victory flag and gave blushes(quiet raging blushes) to the rest.The "Fatman" planned many assasinations by giving rebuttals to "Battakh's" answers but always succeeded in becoming a kamikaze.Irfan was my best pal in the group.Actually I was his mentor and gave him confidence to rediscover his magical inswingers....He succeeded in that and was a surprise package towards the end of the course.

In the last meeting in Lab we were assigned a Project.Irfan was busy in his own game.D.D had become the D.D(DEVDAS) and showed least interest in the project.The "Fatman" was still trying hard to showcase his skills in Frontpage and M.S Paint but it was too late as Irfan was claiming wickets at the right time....Battakh was our group leader who cried after we were given 54 marks out of 60...That really concluded his chances of making a mark.

It was a happy ending afterall.While Ruby managed 10th rank and recieved T-shirt and merit certificate,the 4 men got Passing certificates but are happy nonetheless as they got their friend requests approved on facebook and orkut.